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December 16th, 2005

Just thought I’d make a slight clarification on yesterday’s post.

I have not previously. and do not plan in the future, to hit anyone with fudge, by the pan or piece. Nor will I use it to sabotage an opposing team.

Just saying.

Because I notice that, sometimes, when I am being sarcastic, people do not appreciate it. Like the woman who I was speaking to today, that gave me “a look” when I suggested that hitting her with my fudge would knock her cold.

I’ve seen this “look” before. And since the conversation up to that point had been dealing with the tendency in our family to be too sarcastic, and the fear that it was damaging the children? It might have been better if I’d stuck to playing straight.

My children are not damaged. They are warped.

I told the child in question, who is a 12 year old boy, that people at school think we lock him in the coal cellar and feed him rotten potatoes to punish him for this year’s spectacularly low grades.

He said, “Wait a minute. If the potatoes weren’t rotten, that wouldn’t be too bad. I like
potatoes. And there are lots of things you can do with a potato…”

He also said that like explaining sarcasm to some people was like explaining fire to monkeys. “We like fire. We use fire. Fire is our friend.”

It’s like that with our family and sarcasm.

I am quite proud of him this year. I’d begun to despair that I’d ever get this kid’s sense of humor. the rest of us all laugh at the same things. But son #2 is different. Like someone swapped the acerbic, witty kid I was expecting with Pauly Shore.

But this year has brought about a miraculous change. He is climbing out of his cocoon as a gloriously sarcastic moth.

So. It’s official. We are all sarcastic.

But, for those who missed it…

When my husband said a couple of years ago, “Why don’t you step outside and say that…”
That was sarcasm. Because we were in church, he didn’t think it would result in a near fist fight.

And when I suggested to the other guy’s wife that we leave the church and dance naked in the woods with some very nice Pagans I knew? I was just trying to lighten the mood.

It didn’t work.

And when my mother-in-law complimented me on my new pink dress, which is a dramatic color change from my mostly black wardrobe…and my older son said, “And it’ll match the walls at the mental hospital!” He wasn’t actually planning to put me away.

I hope.