February 9th, 2006

Still trying to make the house presentable, but I’m getting closer to success. I’m up to the point where I’m hiding the liquor. We don’t want to give the impression that we ‘drink’ no matter how true it might be.

The bottles have been setting out on the kitchen counter, in easy reach. Dressing them with whimsical crocheted booze-poodle bottle covers may suit the climate here, but it makes us look like ’50’s cocktail-swilling throw backs. Since it is better, in my son’s eyes, that we look like we drink secretly, I am hiding the hooch.

I was thinking the cupboard on the stairs would be good. No teenager in his right mind is going to go out there and balance behind the door on the landing to sneak a drink.

But alas, the cupboard is full. Of flashlights. We appear to have 4 lanterns, one watchman’s industrial size flashlight, and six normal size. And two oil lamps.

None of them have batteries and the lamps have no wicks.

We seem to have grasped the concept that, in an emergency we should be able to find the flashlights (The top of the dark basement steps is just the place to look in a power outage. Very safe), But we forget that, as batteries die, the solution is to replace them, not buy a new flashlight. So now the corpses are taking up all the shelf space. Probably along with the fondue pot I couldn’t find on Super Bowl night.

Come to think of it, this was how the booze ended up on the counter in the first place. I was out of storage. I could clean out some cupboards, but it’s kind of dark at the back of the shelves. Especially the cupboards above the stairs. And I would need a flashlight.

Life is a vicious circle.