Going for a hat trick

July 1, 2006

We went to “Superman Returns” last night. It is an excellent movie, especially if you liked the first two Superman movies of the 70’s. This movie is a perfect Superman 3, right down to the John Williams opening theme. It gives you a chance to pretend that the series never crashed and burned with two more horrid films. You can pretend that those never happened.

Much as fans of Highlander have to do with several of those movies.

Or Star Wars. There were only three movies in that series. Don’t try to tell me otherwise.

“Superman Returns” is a film that dredges up all my happy teen movie memories, and then doesn’t spit all over them like George Lucas.

“Superman Returns also has something that I can’t seem to get enough of this weekend. Parker Posey, with a pomeranian.

The night before we went to Superman, we watched Blade 3, on TV. The Blade series is another example of a movie with two bad sequels, but Blade saved disappointing the fan base later by not starting with a good first movie. It is a series that keeps coming back, no matter how many times you stake it in the heart. And there is no drop in quality, because the bar starts low.

And “Blade Trinity”, is the sort of movie that you watch all the way to the end, because you are too damn lazy to find the remote and change the channel.

And it has Parker Posey, which means I get to sit on the couch and yell at her for selling out her indy roots by making crap like Blade, when she could have done a sequel to “Waiting for Guffman.” Or “Party Girl.” It has librarians in it. And Belly dancing. Why aren’t there more movies like that?

But I digress.

“Blade Trinity” had one good feature in two hours. It had a vampire pommeranian. Granted, it had a stupid, three-jawed special effect attached to it. The film makers didn’t realize that they’d struck gold with the whole vamp-pomeranian concept and ruined it with overkill.

This puts me at two in two days, for movies that contain both Parker and a pom.

If the dog had been a beagle or a terrier, or anything else, or the actress had been different…

But all that alliteration. And twice. If I cannot see a third, then the universe has no balance.

Does anyone have a DVD of “Best in Show”? Please tell me there’s a pomeranian. Lie if you must.