I’ve been gone lately because I am in the last two days, God willing, of work on my third book. I’m deep in the 19th century, until Friday, when I must snap back to reality and feed spaghetti to 30 members of the boy’s high school swim team.
Yes, indeed. The book deadline day is exactly the same day as our night for spaghetti dinner. This seemed like an ok idea a month ago, when I got roped into it. Now, it just seems insane. The little grey cells are not lining up correctly, at least not for anything useful. And odds are good that I will forget something important (like when to start boiling noodles, or when to stop boiling them, or what day to be home to open the door).
There is a co-hostess, for this little soiree. When my son realized who it was, he screamed like a girl.
It seems, although I did speak to her, and have met her before, I didn’t notice that she was also his English teacher. We decided it wouldn’t be the worst idea if I got a magic marker and wrote crib notes on my hand before any further communications to keep from screwing up again.
Sorry. I know I saw you at school, but I didn’t realize that you were the
oops, (re-reading hand)
PUBLIC SPEAKING TEACHER
Until the book is officially out the door, my family accepts the fact that I will be more than a little scattered, and that they’ll need to keep nudging me back on track, and generally fending for themselves since, if I’m forgetting to do things like feed myself, the odds on my remembering to make dinner for them are between slim and none.
And yet, just now when I was reading the news, I yelled to my husband, “Lily Munster died. I think we’re just about out of Munsters, now.”
He said, “What about Marilyn?”
And I said, without even thinking about it, “Pat Priest?”
Why do I even know that? What earthly use is that bit of information? I hated that show. And why can’t I get the damn theme song out of my head?
I can’t remember birthdays, anniversaries, or the current day of the week. Last week had no Tuesday in it at all, to the best of my knowledge. I skipped it and did Wednesday, twice.
But I know Eddie Munster was played by Butch Patrick and can name all four of The Monkees.
My body may be here, but my brain is somewhere else, and it’s playing Trivial Pursuit.