Organized jaywalking

August 8, 2008

There are a few things that make Denver stand out from other con trips we have taken.

They have organized jaywalking. There is actually a street light that allows you to cross major intersections on the diagonal. It feels odd on the first attempt, but strangely empowering. But since they’ve given you an extra turn to cross and a tactical advantage, the cars will run you the hell over if you don’t follow the lights.

Who thought it was a good idea to build an enormous statue of a blue bear, looking into the Colorado Convention Center windows? I went to a panel, a couple of days ago, about the dearth of Kaiju movies, and the definition of a true kaiju. (That would be large Godzilla style monster, for the uninitiated.)

How large must you be, to invade the city?
And why did we not discuss the blue bear?

And why, oh why is there a laughing escalator? On one of my many misguided attempts to find a short cut across the CCC, I led #1 Son up an escalator, only to be blocked at the top by another conference. We had to turn around immediately, and go back down.

And as we did, the escalator laughed at us. Because we were lost, the laughter felt unnecessarily derisive. Since they’ve closed that part of the building now, they shut down the escalator. I can’t duplicate this for #2 and the husband. They probably think I imagined it.

There are probably pills to take, if you think the escalators are talking to you.

But it was not as annoying as the Atlanta airport bathroom I was in, a couple of years ago. Some smart ass performance artist had rigged the automatic faucets to play Row Row Row Your Boat. I think the idea was that we would create our own round, while washing our hands.

But people don’t wash their hands on cue. The result was so annoying that it made me want to throw basic bathroom sanitation to the four winds.