Bond, James Bond

October 9, 2008

#2 son has to do a comparison/contrast paper on a book and the movie made from it. He asked me if we have a copy of Casino Royale. Of course we have Casino Royale. I was even reading it, although I set it down somewhere and didn’t finish.

In the original book, Vesper is taken prisoner when the villains pull her skirt over her head, rendering her helpless. Early Bond girls have about as much sense as the average canary. When it got suddenly dark, she probably fell asleep.

So this would be an excellent choice for a paper. Especially the part where Bond gets whacked in the privates by a carpet beater. In the movie, it’s a rope. Unless you watch the original movie, where it is a torture of the mind with symbolic carpet beater. But the original movie makes no sense at all.

English teachers love papers on stuff like that. English papers about genital torture. We’ll probably be getting a call from the school about ‘appropriateness.’

But we have several thousand books, if I count everything from Pat the Bunny, upwards. And I set it down ‘somewhere’ as opposed to ‘on the TBR pile’ on the ‘mystery shelf’ or ‘with the pulp fiction’. This book is likely to turn up under a stack of bills, or mixed in with last year’s Christmas cards. I gave up, and am buying a new copy.

Since #2 son needed something to carry to class and show willing, I handed him “You Only Live Twice”.

He came back with a report:

“Do you know what Bond does in this book? He insults the head of the Japanese Secret Service. Then he insults several Geishas. And all of Asia. And plays rock, paper, scissors. And gets roaring drunk.”

Me: “How far have you gotten?”

#2 Son: “Five paragraphs.”

He went on to explain pillow Geishas to me, who apparently, don’t have to know how to write Haikus.

#2 Son: So what I want to know is, when they were making the movies, what made them decide to make James Bond suave?”

Me: “These books were written in the early 60’s. That’s what suave looked like, back then.”