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June 11th, 2014

Bathroom update:

The electrician has come and installed the lights (wrought iron chandelier and sconces). We are 2/3rds done tiling the shower. And most of the painting is done.

The boys looked at the color I chose (a nice warm brick color) and immediately Facebooked their friends.

Dante’s Cardigan.

#2 Son says that the bathroom is the seventh circle of Hell.

I think we all suspected that, by now.

But he had no real objection to the first coat, other than that, as he worked, he kept thinking he’d scraped his knuckles bloody, only to realize that it was just the paint. When he cleaned the roller in the downstairs sink, it looked like someone had slaughtered a goat.

Then, #1 Son came home to do his shift.

Me (very proud of the progress): What do you think?

#1: I think, between the light fixtures and the walls, it looks like you’re going to perform ritual sacrifice in here.

Me: Like I’m going to kill a virgin in the bathtub?

#1: It will save time on clean up. And isn’t the chandelier kind of low? Can Sean even walk in here? (#2 Son is 6’ 3”)

5’ 5” Me: The chandelier is fine. There is nothing wrong with it.

#1: I dunno. It makes me nervous. In fact, the whole room makes me anxious. No one is going to want to stay in here for long.

DH: It’s a bathroom. How long were you planning to stay?

#1 (Googling color theory): The internet says you should add some plants. To tone it down.

DH: Your mother can’t have plants. She kills them.

I do not. And in this case, it won’t be me. Demons will come out of the mirror above the sink and suck the energy out of anything living in there. And the pictures I brought back from New Orleans aren’t going to help. They’re black and white studies of tombs with weeping angels.

It’s taken me a year. And the finished room is going to look like Satan’s water closet.